As Lily’s third birthday is approaching, it makes me realize that time flys by so fast and how much being a mom means to me. I go to bed often thinking, what could I have done better today. We had a good day but what could I have done to make it a perfect day. Maybe I shouldn’t have put Lily on a time out, Did I play with her enough?, Maybe I should have made a healthier lunch, instead of doing bills I should have taken two minutes and played barbies with Lily like she asked. How about with Nolan… Can I let him cry when I put him down instead of holding him, I really have stuff to do but he is only little for a short amount of time so is it ok if I put him down and not rock him while he takes his naps.
The answer is easy.. I realized that there are no perfect days. Take each day as it is and take it in strides. Each day is a learning experience for me, and for the kids. I can only be one person and as long as they are loved and taken care of, they are good and will turn out good. It is such a empowering job of being a mom, but it is scary as well. I am responsible to these little beings and am responsible for what and who they become. I want the best for them and I want to have no regrets on raising my children, when they are older.
I have learned to be patient, which is a quality that I had lacked. I never thought that I would have the patience needed to care for these two children.
These kids are not me. They are their own person and I have to realize that they are very dependent upon me as well as independent. Many people say that Lily is “just like her mother was”, and that seems to be true in a sense but she is her own person with a big personality.
I have learned to love these two children like nothing else. They are a part of me and it is amazing to believe. I can’t get enough kisses, although they might be slobbery or food filled.
As I watch them play together, I get a tingly feeling. I love the bond that they already share and when they giggle at me or each other, it is an amazing feeling.
It is great to be wanted and needed so much by two little people.
So as Lily turns one more year old, and Nolan is growing up to be such a wonderful little boy, I realize something that Jill Churchill said “there’s no way to be a perfect mom, but a million ways to be a good one. And one that Sophia Loren said “When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.”
I love my children and my husband so much and they mean the world to me. I hope that everyone can have the opportunity to experience some sort of "family" someday. It makes each day worth living.
Happy Birthday Lily!!